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Love Dolls in Focus
In October, the German government presented a bill to combat sexualized violence against children. Among other things, the marketing, purchase and possession of sex dolls with a childlike appearance is to be made a punishable offense in the future. Voices from the CDU, CSU and FDP in particular called for a consistent ban. The politicians, as well as the Alliance for Child Protection, see the danger in the fact that the use of such child sex dolls lowers the inhibition threshold to commit sexualized violence against children.
Since there are no specific regulations regarding Love Dolls in many countries, just like in Germany, there is a call for a Europe-wide regulation.
So much for the official reports and press releases. We, too, believe that the protection of minors must not and should not be questioned – but neither should the right to sexual self-determination, regardless of gender and age.
A Few Thougts
Let us therefore ask the counter question: Why should love dolls be generally banned when the bone of contention is sex dolls that are clearly modeled on children and are advertised as such?
How should one argue with that? Apparently, all people who use or own love dolls are potential criminals, or how is that to be understood?
Then we would also have to think about banning knives. Even if many people use knives only as cutting tools, there are supposed to be one or the other contemporary who attacks, injures or even kills others with a knife. That would be nevertheless times a signature collection worth.
The cry for a ban of Love Dolls shows a bit of desperation. We have enough issues that need to be addressed, such as child labor or child marriage, overburdened youth welfare offices, abuse in institutions, etc. Unfortunately, these are all issues that do not need to be addressed. Unfortunately, these are all topics that cannot be viewed in black and white and need urgent discussion, but are willingly swept under the table. What must not be, cannot be.
No prejudices please
But back to the topic of Love Dolls. As a first step, we should make a very clear distinction between dolls (regardless of their size) that are modeled after adult persons and sex dolls that clearly represent children. We otherwise run the risk of discriminating against and labeling people because they own or use Love Dolls that may be smaller than „real“ adult humans. Is that enough of a general suspicion?
The Basic Law guarantees every person the greatest possible personal freedom, as long as he or she does not endanger or disadvantage a third party, or violate the constitutional order or the moral law.
Clarification is needed
It would therefore be good for us at this point, to have an open social discussion about our relationship to sexuality, because we are still a long way from dealing honestly with this topic in its entire range.
On the one hand, feelings of shame and ignorance about sexuality still play a major role in upbringing and then also in adult life, while on the other hand we are inundated with naked skin on all channels and dubious TV formats. Is this how an enlightened society deals with difficult issues? Certainly not. Our approach to sexuality is characterized by double standards, otherwise this discussion cannot be explained.
The other Side
At the same time, the topic of dolls does not only have sexual aspects, since by far not all dolls are used for their actual purpose. Often the doll is a „family member“ – and of course nobody talks about it because this is a taboo.
More and more people today are lonely or overwhelmed by the complexity of this world and if a Doll can help a person feel better, it is not for us as a society to take away that opportunity.
Perhaps it would be worthwhile to ask ourselves whether Dolls could not also make a difference in the therapeutic area? That would be an exciting discussion.
And maybe Dolls could also be helpful for people with physical impairments? But society doesn’t want to think about that, that’s – no, sexuality please just standardized and best not to talk about it. That’s fie.
Sexuality takes place behind closed doors and curtains and offers a lot of room for prejudice and condemnation. At the same time, the commercialization of sexuality is growing, distancing us even further from ourselves with its artificial, lifeless floods of images.
Everything that does not fit the category of „normal“ is stigmatized. We have a long tradition of this, and the church in particular likes to play a leading role when it comes to intolerance or the tabooing of sexuality.
Here the question should also be allowed whether the Catholic Church could have saved itself a lot of trouble if the priests had had alternative options.
Under general suspicion
In the media, the topic is presented in a very one-sided way and facts are often taken out of context. The question always resonates subliminally: „And why are the dolls so small? That has something to do with children.
No, it doesn’t.
The question when buying is how much Love Doll can I afford? Or how much Love Doll can I handle? Maybe I’m in a wheelchair and a life-size doll is too heavy or bulky? Maybe a small one is just enough for me because I don’t have that much money, or not that much space, or whatever – that shouldn’t have to be justified.
Just a reminder: minorities also have basic rights and the right to free development. And we should keep in mind that prejudice leads to fear and condemnation, and that prejudice is always pre-judgment – you judge before you know the facts.
Therefore, calling for a ban is the wrong way to go – apart from the fact that the ban would hit people who have done nothing to anyone.
We will continue to monitor the development and keep you updated here.